Translation: "I'm entitled, bitch!"

This lovely offering was left on a table at the Hershey, PA Panera this afternoon by a Mombie and her 2 toddlers (let's call them Sneauxphlayke and Crotchdroplet). You cannot tell from the picture, but the table is littered with dry and not-so-dry crumbs. For those unfamiliar with Panera, it is like a deli in the sense that you order your stuff at a counter, where it is prepared and given to you, and that is the end of the service. You pick out your table or armchair, take your order there, and clean it up afterward. All very nice and delicious, and sometimes if you happen to be sitting around enjoying your drink but your plates are empty, a friendly worker will offer to take them for you. But the etiquette is that you don't just leave your dirty plates and trash on the table and leave.
But mombies are special, because theirs is the hardest and most important job on earth. Abiding by etiquette is for lesser beings, who are preoccupied with petty concerns. I learned this by listening to Mombie here in Panera.*


Mombie stands up to leave, and collects her brats and their luggage. Panera worker sees a vacant table with dirty stuff on it, and politely asks, "Ma'am, is this yours?"


Mombie loses her shit. "Does it not LOOK to you like I have my hands full?! I am the MOM here. That is MY job.  YOUR job is to clean up. How am I supposed to do your job AND mine?!"


Nice Worker: "Excuse me, ma'am, I just wanted to see if this table was vacant."


Mombie: "Whatever!" [Stalks out of the restaurant.]


Jane: Chokes on her coffee.


*Also, I learned that being a MOM makes you, like, way more mature.